A little bit of Nowhere

Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?
Thursday, August 21, 2008
 
"There's a hole in the world
Like a great big pit
And it goes by the name of...."



There are many things in life that are filled with 'win': friends, chocolate cake, the Dark Knight movie and being able to have pants-optional days in your own apartment. The Stratford store, however, is not one of those things. It has no win. It is void of win. I'd almost be inclined to think it has win in negative integers, making it the anti-win. Which is to say, the store possesses an abundance of fail.

There's not one impressive reason that makes me say this, just a lot of them.

After viewing the store for myself earlier this week, I've concluded that it's just as well the former manager was cacked, if not for the singular fact that a blind, deluded otter could have run the place better. The part-timers had an abundance of training, but only if, by 'an abundance of' training' you're thinking 'just enough to ensure the store doesn't burn itself down.'

Things I've taken for granted that my own employees know, such as doing a simple coin run to the bank, the Stratford part-timers were confustigated by. Regrettably, it also doesn't help that the part-timers don't seem to be particularly bright and require a little bit of repeated commands & rubbing of the grey matter before their brains get warmed up. (And since Mel is the one attempting to train/re-train them, she is finding this part particularly vexing.)

But perhaps I'm being too critical. Sure, the rest of the staff might not have been trained very well, but surely the former manager was skilled in other venues. Certainly the weekly managerial paperwork was completed to near perfection!

No? Hmm...how about satisfactorily completed paperwork?

No? How about completed paperwork?

Um...well, there was paperwork. An unsorted, unorganized and not even checked over pile of it.

Okay, so sure the employees were poorly trained and the paperwork was an unmitigated disaster, but surely--yes, surely!--this was only because all of the former manager's zeal and energy was directed at making the store itself appear the paragon of neatness and aesthetic charm. Aha haaaaa...if only.

Here especially is where I believe the blind, deluded otter would have shone had it been put in charge instead. Mel's first reaction upon seeing the physical appearance of the Stratford store was to fight the urge to turn around and walk away. Sadly, this is not an embellishment. My own reaction was to stare at it in bemused horror and mutter "Whaaa?"

The "temporary replacement" crew has spent this entire week just attempting to play clean-up, and they're still not finished. I contributed to the effort by revamping their luggage. Now herein is my argument for hiring the otter: their luggage was scattered everywhere. And by scattered, I mean they had none of the same styles grouped together. This isn't just for the prettiness of it, but for the practicality of actually being able to find something a customer is specifically asking for.

For example, one particular style had pieces in 5 different places scattered across the entire store. A task that I had guessed would take only an hour ended up taking just over 2 hours, since Mel & I had to take everything down, group like pieces together to see how much of any given style they had, and then put it all up in a pretty fashion.

My best guess is that, as stock comes in each day, the manager just tossed it around in the nearest available spot, regardless of where it actually should go. And this looks like it's been going on for easily the last few months.

And sadly, there's more of this to be sure. Much more, and it's all leaving a rather frazzled Mel curled up on the couch as we're watching a library rental of Sweeney Todd. I figure it's best of both worlds: Mel can enjoy the music, and I can enjoy the arterial spray.

So for now I'll leave it at that, and rant another day.

In the meantime, here's Today's Lesson: midnight is a most inopportune time for the doorknob of your apartment's front door to fall off.

Labels:



Sunday, August 17, 2008
 
"He Didn't Blog? Inconceivable!"


The next two weeks are about to turn more interesting than usual. Normally, they're crazy-hectic due to the Back To School season, and normally I've got Mel floating around the store on a part-time basis (Head Office-approved, of course) to help with the customers. Well, suddenly Mel will no longer be at my store for the remainder of the BTS season.

She'll be in the Stratford store.

It's necessary to stay mum on the subject, but suffice to say there was a slight case of "the fan, and shit hitting it" over there, and our District Manager asked/pleaded with Mel to step in on a temp basis and help run things there while they replaced half the staff. (This takes the award for "Worst Possible Time To Happen.") I myself would have preferred to do this, leaving Mel to work my shifts at a store she's familiar with and co-workers she knows & enjoys working with, but it's that lack of an extra car...and a driver's license.

So for the moment, Mel gets to traverse to Stratford while replacements are hired and trained. And sadly, she's not even going to know her schedule until Monday, once everyone can take stock of who's left and when they're available, and how fast other staffers are found. This is no doubt going to fubar any plans we have for days off from here until the Labour Day Weekend.

Grrr. Argh.

Labels: ,



Wednesday, August 13, 2008
 
IT'S MY LJ AND I'LL WANK IF I WANT TO

(Disclaimer: blog title may not accurately reflect or imply
that the writer of this entry has in fact defected to Livejournal.
So nyah nyah.)



Fortuitously, there will be an inherent absence of wankery in this little bit of nowhere. One can't exactly wank too much during the Back To school season and not make it sound like childish whining about annoying customers and the silly-assed stunts Head Office likes to pull.

However...there was the 5 year-old kid this past weekend who decided to pee on our store's carpet. (You laugh, thinking it's a joke. I cry, since I had to petty cash out for the carpet cleaner and air freshener.) While the incident itself occurred on my day off, I learned perhaps more details than I'd care to--and had to stare down at the stain on the carpet the next day as I opened for business. Apparently, during one of the busier periods on Sunday, this little girl looked down at the floor and announced, "Uh-oh, mommy! Pee!"

To which her mother sighed and said, "Oh dear." And proceeded to do nothing else about the matter. Now kids losing bladder control, I can understand. I have no qualms with that, ultimately. It happens. Mind you, I take serious issue with the parental units who then act as if nothing happened and saunter out of my soiled-carpet store without even issuing any shred of apology.

And naturally, people being people, they moved the small pylons my crew had set up to thusly prevent everyone from walking through the piss. Well, it's their shoes, I suppose, but still...courtesy seems rather defunct when it comes to shopping as a whole.

But hey, at least there doesn't need to be any Head Office silliness this time around! And you know...for the most part, that's actually the case. The only anecdotal thing I can mention is the strange fact that they decided to send us a 34" suitcase set.

For those of you (fortunate souls) who don't work at a luggage store (and how I hate you for your fortune! I vex at thee! Vex! Vex! Ve--oooh, a cookie! Nomnomnom...) Uh, where was I? Oh yes, the 34" suitcase. Bear in mind that the airlines will at best allow a 30" suitcase for check-in luggage. A 32" suitcase rarely is allowed on these days without considerable fees tacked on. Which naturally brings me to scratch my head and ask, "Why did they feel the need to purchase sets of luggage with an oversized 34" one included?"

Maybe they're over-compensating for something?

Not that it matters too much in the end. The 34" we got had a broken retractable handle; it was damaged before we even got it out of its box. So at least I don't have to annoy myself in selling it. But we did discover one cool thing: I can fit myself into a 34" suitcase easily and zip it up!

Sidenote: if I ever do something to seriously vex Mel in the future (and can't distract her with shiny cookies), and you suddenly notice she's bought a 34" suitcase...please let me know. I enjoy having the chance at a running start when it comes to fleeing for my sexy life.

Today's Lesson: when your shoes suddenly have mouths and can start talking like Muppets, it's time to buy new shoes.


Labels: ,